Blue Eyes

A day in the woods: June 1st

2008-06-01T20:21:00.000-07:00

I spent most of today in the woods. I love being one with nature, it helps me to think and find myself when I need help. (Lately I have been feeling sad and depressed.) There is a small clearing where a small amount of sunshine is aloud though the blanket of tree tops. I found my tree stump and sat next to it. All of the bird where singing to me and a slight breeze kissed my cheek as the sunshine warmed my soul. This is what I needed. This i what life is all about. You may ask what the "this" is, but it cannot be explained. Only those who have experienced it can understand. My name may be dark, but my soul is a rainbow of colors.

May 26th

2008-05-26T20:46:00.000-07:00

Today I slashed my arm again. I’m not suicidal or anything, I just wanted to watch and feel the warm blood flow out. Blood is what keeps us alive. It pumps out of our hearts, through the veins, to all of the organs, then back to the heart again. People celebrate the birth of a new born and then hold a gathering to say good-bye to someone when they die. Why does no one want to celebrate the living part of life? Well this is how I do it.

I don't know.

2007-09-19T19:32:00.000-07:00

Everything could be going good one day, then all the sudden everything seems to fall apart. I can't even describe how I feel right noe. I can't seem to do anything right. I'm happy one moment then sad the next. I want to say how I feel about things, but I can't. I don't know. I guess that's just life though. Ok, I'm done.

Better

2007-09-04T18:18:00.000-07:00

Things are a little bit better now. Mostly due to my wonderful, loving boyfriend who is always there for me. Thank-you. I'm learning how to deal with things and I have a lot to look forward to. kisses and smiles

School

2007-08-30T13:35:00.000-07:00

So, I'm back at school now. I have so much fucking work to do I don't even know where to start. I don't think I'll be able to make it through this year, unless I get a miracle or something. I can't stand the program I'm in. I have to become someone else just to be able to fit in. Everyone here is, "pretty princess" and they all have to be the best at everything. Kiss the teachers ass. I feel so different because I don't want to do all the things everyone else does, like go to the bar...etc, but I'm just not like that. Maybe I just need to suck it up and stop crying all the time, but I feel so depressed. I really need to eat dinner, but I'm not going to go sit in the cafe and really have a feeling of having no friends. Or, I should say "true" friends. I still talk to people, but no one ever calls me just to see how I'm doing. I feel like my life is such a waste. That's all for now.

Complaining

2007-07-17T17:46:00.000-07:00

Not too much happened today. It was pretty boring with painting and all. I have been stuck painting with my brother for days, and I swear I'm ready to kill him. I have never seen such a lazy person in my life. Well, no I take that back. Second laziest person (don't ask). I'm so sick of making dinner every night and cleaning the house. These three people are completely incapable of doing anything for themselves. OK. I'm done. Just felt like complaining a little. Later.

First Post

2007-07-15T17:38:00.000-07:00

Well, so this is my first post. I have no idea what to say. I have been really sad today, and I don't know why. Everything seems to be upsetting me, but I guess I should stop complaining. I just always wish I were somewhere else. I'm really not in the mood for writing so, later